Bad idea

My pulse it is a-rising
Not what I want to feel
This tightness in my chest
Don't want it to be real
Darting eyes around me
But all that I can see
Is the panic fear confusion
That's rising inside me

I can see everything
And the news it is not good
This wasn't meant to happen
Not feeling like I should
And all that I can think now
Is am I going to die
This wasn't worth the effort
It's not my kind of high

You lied to me
Not what it should be
I can't escape
No turning back
Ready to white out
And fade to black

I can't believe
It turned out this way
I had a choice
Now I don't have a say
Don't feel like a god
Just want this to be over
Why won't it stop
Will I ever be sober

I never write anything I don't have a melody for. It seems kind of counterintuitive.

not what you thought

Sounds sad but imagining it over a tropical 80s coke party beat. Listen to some St Lucia and you'll get a good idea of where I'm going with it.

I gave it all away
For an hour, a day
I gave it all away
Was the price too high to pay
I gave it all away
And now I'm left with nothing at all
With nobody

It's not like
We haven't done this before
I'm the agitator
Always wanting more

And I know
It only leads to trouble like this, ooh
But I can't help myself
I say it's worth it

I gave it all away
Is all I can say
I gave it all away
I couldn't make you stay
I gave it all way
And now I'm standing here all alone
A nobody

And there's no use in saying
What did you expect
I never heed the warnings
I never double check
I never think that I'll
Be on the losing team
From inside
The outside
Is not what it seems

I gave it all away
(gave it all away)
I gave it all away
I gave
I gave it all away
To nobody

you need to let go

All my dreams are dying
Right before my eyes
So when you say you miss me
Well it comes as no surprise
Did you think your magic words
Would make me realise
Somehow that I need you
Should I laugh or should I cry

Who do you think you are did you
Think that I'd come running
You tried so hard and came so far
I don't think it's working
You better pack it up and go
Before you force my hand
Made yourself to be the fool
That can't be what you planned

It's time for you to move on

And you
You're just a hazard to me
And it's true
Once I might have seen
But now
You're just embarrassing me
Don't know how
You could be so blind not to see

Put it away baby
All your efforts are in vain
Once I might have fallen
But I'm tired of the pain
So let's just leave this where it is
And let's not start again
I'm walking away honey
I suggest you do the same

It's time for us to move on

You
Have no power over me
And now
That's the way it will be
I can't
Care what you might think
It's over
Just don't think about me

party monsters inc

Sunrise
In my eyes
I can't fake
The surprise
I see you
Coming
Now I'm done
With waiting

Don't start telling me
I don't want to hear it now
My heart says to me
Got no time for coming down
When you think of me
Is it when I'm not around
I don't even care
Too far gone to touch the ground

Life, but not like you know
Innocent until I say go
Preaching to the converted
Go where nobody's hurting

It's all that I need
Give it all up to me now
Fragments of memories
Lose yourself inside the sound
Oh you're killing me
I know we cannot stay this way
Just once want it to be
Perfection in every way

Why do you have to go
You can't stay, believe me I know
When it's all over
I hope you remember

every mid 20s relationship ever

It's not that I don't think
That we can make it work
But you pushing me away baby
I don't know it's worth
All the insecurities
And all the things that hurt
But if you're here with me
Well I have to know for sure

Around again we go
Same cycle as before
I get left with less
So that I'm always wanting more
Why do we do this to ourselves
We really know the score
We cannot stand each other
But it's you that I adore

I don't know
Oh I don't know
Should I stay
Do you want me to go
I don't know oh
I don't know
And it hurts me so

Can't stop wanting you
Though it's no good for me
Love costs time and money babe
When feeling bad is free
When I'm without you
I'm only left with me
This is not how
I wanted things to be

I don't know
Oh I don't know
How much more
Before I say no
If you leave
Then I will watch you go
Though it hurts me so

Realms

Thinking something real disco for this one, already have a fully realised vocal melody to go

Like atoms dancing in a storm
Through random chance you will be drawn
Into this world of make-believe
You can make it real
If you can only see

Heavy with possibilities
If you can take that chance with me
Do you even know
How far this could go

Life
Like you never felt before
Love
If you open up the door
Move
And you know you can be sure
You will have
All that you could want and more

So hit the lights and hear that sound
It's of your mind leaving the ground
Now you're free
Can you feel me

Dance
Like it's all you're needing now
Light
And you'll move with me somehow
Love
Can you tell me what you found
And you know
That it's me you need right now

Don't know how this would work in the context of an actual song but I like it so it's going here

Feeling pretty blue
When all I'm wanting is for you
To recognise my feelings
Though I know that it may seem like
All I ever do is whine
And never make use of my time
To do something that might matter
But I'm telling you it's harder
When you never seem to notice
And I can never draw your focus
No matter what I do or say
And it seems the only way
To get away from this is out
Otherwise it's only down
From here into despair
When every time I try to share
You don't even seem to listen
When I say I'm really missing
The way you used to care for me
But for now that's just a dream
And the feeling's getting stronger
That you don't love me any longer
But there's no point to try and fight
Don't worry about me
I'll be alright

No More Outs

You always deceive me
If only they could see
The way you're always letting me down

Might think I'm getting stronger
But that won't last much longer
Before you drag me to the ground

I hurt
And I'm tired
You're just
Such a liar
Why can't you just let me live

Screaming
And crying
I feel like
I'm dying
I don't have any more to give

One day I know that
There'll be no turning back
Even though I don't want you to stay

Creeping on slowly
My one and my only
Eventually you'll take my breath away

Self Calm

It's not easy to mean it
When you don't believe it
These hollow words that we all say

You know that you're lying
But just keep on trying
The truth can wait for another day

You don't even know
What's real and in your head
You can't remember
All those things you said

When everything is wrong
It's all you can do to carry on

Isolation's deceiving
And you keep on meaning
To really make things work this time

But it doesn't matter
The silence gets louder
You can't cross back over that line

When everything is gone
You'll know for sure you were wrong

What can you even say
When words don't matter anyway

Tic Tac Go

Hardly
The way I had planned but I
Can't say
Or simply demand that you
Owe me
The way you're feeling right now

It's not
A matter of fact when I
Have no
Proof and must retract all the things
That I said
But live with this feeling somehow

So tell me
Is this how things should be
Cos I can't see
Why you'd do this for me

I know
If you were me you would go
So tell me it ain't so
I don't think I want to know

Just when
I think it's ok you just
Leave me
You're walking away and you
Won't stop
Please don't go why can't you stay

Break Free

It's clear to me
Now I can see
These little things
You do to me
But any way
You cut it we
Will slowly become
Enemies

And I
Don't want to be
That idea
You have of me

And surely
You can see
It's not what
I planned for me

At any time
On any day
We simply cannot
Live this way
And I can't know
Nor can I say
How we can fix
This power play

And you
Think I can't do
These things
You want me to
But I
Know there's a truth
That I
Can keep from you

It's something you will see
You can't take from me